Mother. To utter the word is a prayer. I owe my
strength and faith to her caring love.
My whole life is a great dreaming love, happiness,
a fight, darkness in which a beam of light has appeared:
the power of faith and love a child feels when holding
its mother`s hand. Valika, I thank you for the touch of
your hand.
I am grateful for the trust of those who opened their
hearts and faced my camera.
May the Lord God have mercy on us.

                                                                  4th May 1994

"We must all sacrifice ourselves,
because without sacrifices
we cannot earn ourselves credit.
We must live a decent life,
so that our work may
retain its credit during the years
to come."

                                                                  Balla Demeter’s ars poetica

Memory

Evening falls on the
farm on the Körös.
Two lamps in her hand, bringing
milk, my mother entered (strained it into jugs),
put out the light as we waited for father.
She drew me to her milk-scented lap and
out of the window we watched
the jogging carriages,
their hurricane lanterns swaying,
and the ligths of fleeting cars
on the pitched road nearby.
In the peaceful dark
the black cat leapt up,
we listened to her purrs,
when she stopped I stroked her,
and her coat flashed
like the stars above.
My little sister tossed as she slept
often I was sleeping too
when the carriage came with father.

Revelling time

My dreaming boat
its direction lost
splits the sandy banks now
and stops
on the cliffs.
Have I any chance of reaching the top?
I admire the wings of
the birds hovering above.
Loneliness falls upon me.

Revelling time,
leave me to rest!

Vision

My mother wrings her hands.

Saws slice
through my body
in the dark cupboard
the blade of the illusionist.

You weep on the rails,
I die with your blood.

A lock being opened,
a scream in the night.
Time!
Leave me!
Painful awakening.

My mother is barely breathing now.

Attila
                                              To the memory of
                                              Attila Göcsei
                                              who was killed by a lorry
                                              with two others

Only a few days ago
we greeted each other
your eyes shone as you embraced your wife
- we were happy
- but now it`s only Him...
Our lips trembled with anguish as we prayed:
Our father which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name,
Thy kingdom come,
- Thy will be done
- Thy will be done,
your eyes shone as you embraced your wife
we greeted each other
only a few days ago.

Violet

Violet and I
fell in love a year ago,
I racked my brains on
the anniversary,
and bought her a large bunch of white violets.
I was pretty reluctant because
the violets were dear, but
Violet`s the dearest of women,
so I had to do my best.
I looked forward to the effect.
It came.
A bolt from the blue,
downpour,
tears showering from her eyes
- I hate my name,
anyway, I am allergic to violets,
I always dreamt of
being called Vali.
She sobbed - I consoled her, and hugged her,
never even noticed
Vali and I were dancing on the vilolets,
oh, what nonsense, dear Violet!

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